A classic boy meets girl scenario happens here: a woman who is just a leg with a head on it is on a sidewalk looking at a guy who is just an arm with a head on it. When he sees that she has two big toes, the second where her pinky toe should be, she jumps on a skateboard to get away from him. She quickly finds a sock to put on. Cut to a beach: she's lying down and he comes and finds her and takes her sock off. They kiss, and... these... things start moving around underneath their skin. The things are new body parts. Because of the kiss, each one ends up growing an entire body. OK, maybe it isn't exactly a classic boy meets girl scenario.
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
There's no dancing, because it would be quite hard to dance with only one limb.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
Point.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
No point.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
Yay, plotline! It's been a while, Mr. Plotline, and I've missed you.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
The plotline, though not extremely complex, manages to enchant the viewer.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
Point.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
It's actually very realistic if one accepts the premises. Point.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
No diversions here. It sets out to tell a story and succeeds brilliantly.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
No point.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
I like it a little bit because it has a plotline, but though it captures everything amazingly, I don't like romance stories and I especially don't like seeing people kiss. No point.
This video gets a 7/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Sloop John B by the Beach Boys
It's labelled as a "promo film", but I'm going to count this lovely piece of work as a music video. Sloop John B was a song released in 1966 on the album Pet Sounds. It's one of my favorite songs of all time and one of the only songs this early on to have a music video. A bunch of people start out by going out a door and greeting somebody. They then dance their way to a swimming pool, where a large raft is thrown in. Random people start to show up and jump on the raft and play in the pool. One of them has a Tiger Beat magazine, which he flashes in front of the camera at the end.
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
The minimal amount of dancing is done very well. Point.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
No point. Those awesome movements that they do on their way to the cool? I consider them to be dancing.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
No point.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
The theme here is "pool fun".
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Point for theme.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
There wasn't a plotline.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
It was a bit dorky-looking throughout, so no point here.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
Believe it or not, there actually aren't any diversions, a nice surprise in a video so old. Usually the older a video is, the worse it is.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
No point.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
I like it because it's the Beach Boys. Oh, yeah, and I like it for being a good music video, too.
This video gets a 5/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
The minimal amount of dancing is done very well. Point.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
No point. Those awesome movements that they do on their way to the cool? I consider them to be dancing.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
No point.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
The theme here is "pool fun".
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Point for theme.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
There wasn't a plotline.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
It was a bit dorky-looking throughout, so no point here.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
Believe it or not, there actually aren't any diversions, a nice surprise in a video so old. Usually the older a video is, the worse it is.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
No point.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
I like it because it's the Beach Boys. Oh, yeah, and I like it for being a good music video, too.
This video gets a 5/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Smuggler's Blues by Glenn Frey
Smuggler's Blues starts out with a man counting his money. He is one of two guys sitting in a car. The one in the white shirt gets shot but rushes back to the car in time to die in the car. It then shows the other guy, as well as a woman, changing through multiple disguises and exchanging packages. Scenes of him talking with the police are interspersed throughout. At the end, it shows the original dead body in the car with a radio broadcast about an unexplained shooting.
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
No dancing! Whoopee!
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
Thank goodness it gets a point.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
Yep. The dead guy from the very beginning is present at the end.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
Smuggler's Blues has a "life as a smuggler" theme to it. It's not quite well-defined enough to have a plotline.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Sadly, it doesn't have anything more than a theme.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
There are some plot-like elements to it, but if I counted it as a plotline, I would have to count it as 90% fluff and diversions, and that really makes a theme.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
You'd think it would be able to do one or the other when showing something that, in real life, is generally seen as cool, but the whole thing was pretty meh.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
If it had a plotline, it would, but as a theme, it has no diversions, and thus gets this point.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
No point.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
I actually don't really have that much of an opinion on it, so no point.
This video gets a 6/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
No dancing! Whoopee!
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
Thank goodness it gets a point.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
Yep. The dead guy from the very beginning is present at the end.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
Smuggler's Blues has a "life as a smuggler" theme to it. It's not quite well-defined enough to have a plotline.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Sadly, it doesn't have anything more than a theme.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
There are some plot-like elements to it, but if I counted it as a plotline, I would have to count it as 90% fluff and diversions, and that really makes a theme.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
You'd think it would be able to do one or the other when showing something that, in real life, is generally seen as cool, but the whole thing was pretty meh.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
If it had a plotline, it would, but as a theme, it has no diversions, and thus gets this point.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
No point.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
I actually don't really have that much of an opinion on it, so no point.
This video gets a 6/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Look it Up by Ashton Shepherd
This has to be the first time I've laughed while watching a music video. Well, maybe not the first time; I've probably laughed at how bad something was, but with Look it Up, I laughed at the humor being portrayed. The protagonist is selling all of her husband's stuff when the husband drives in. She then tells him to look up certain words that have to do with him cheating on her. The lyrics to the song are part of the music video, too. Most music videos are analogous to silent films, in that the lyrics may relate to what the video is about, but they do not sound like somebody talking and the character will not say them or say them and have that not have anything to do with the rest of the video. In Look it Up, it's like the woman and the man are having a conversation that just happens to be identical with the lyrics.
Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1kT4u_D5PA&ob=av2e
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
No dancing here! All of the movements are completely natural!
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
Point.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
No point here.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
It's on that strange border between theme and plotline. I'll go with theme here, because besides at the very beginning when the man drives in, nothing really changes about it.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Theme point.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
Unfortunately, it does not get this point.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
There is neither in Look it Up. I wouldn't count extreme humor as a point, so no point.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
It loves to cut to her sitting in a chair and then burning a jacket (eep!) on a barbeque.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
No point.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
It made me laugh the second time, when I showed it to somebody else, and the third time, when I watched it to check for a couple of my criteria. I really like it.
This video gets a 5/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1kT4u_D5PA&ob=av2e
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
No dancing here! All of the movements are completely natural!
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
Point.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
No point here.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
It's on that strange border between theme and plotline. I'll go with theme here, because besides at the very beginning when the man drives in, nothing really changes about it.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Theme point.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
Unfortunately, it does not get this point.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
There is neither in Look it Up. I wouldn't count extreme humor as a point, so no point.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
It loves to cut to her sitting in a chair and then burning a jacket (eep!) on a barbeque.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
No point.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
It made me laugh the second time, when I showed it to somebody else, and the third time, when I watched it to check for a couple of my criteria. I really like it.
This video gets a 5/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Monday, December 26, 2011
Without You by David Guetta
Without You is about this guy who dances (and his dancing looks suspiciously like just talking with his hands...) and holds concerts, and his concerts all over the world somehow create Pangaea. In his concerts, people dance in a way that looks suspiciously like just jumping up and down with their hands stretched upwards. In the end they all meet and continue with the bouncing-with-upstretched-hands thing.
Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUe8uoKdHao
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
No point. The dancing is very bad.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
And yet said bad dancing takes up most of the video.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
No. Interestingly enough, it ends with everybody making a heart symbol with their hands.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
Series to the max. Point.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
There is no theme. There's an undercurrent of "all the people from all of the countries are the same" but that is:
A) not a theme, but a message and
B) something that has been used as a message for decades and decades, nonstop. I don't think many of the people watching the video really need this message....
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
Ha. No.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
The world does not seem very cool in this video, and the things that happen were portrayed so outrageously (look at the way the continents move!) that it's laughable.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
It has these. No point.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
The music video makes me think about never watching it again. No point.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
Can you tell I don't? If not, then let me state it: I don't.
This video gets a 1/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUe8uoKdHao
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
No point. The dancing is very bad.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
And yet said bad dancing takes up most of the video.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
No. Interestingly enough, it ends with everybody making a heart symbol with their hands.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
Series to the max. Point.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
There is no theme. There's an undercurrent of "all the people from all of the countries are the same" but that is:
A) not a theme, but a message and
B) something that has been used as a message for decades and decades, nonstop. I don't think many of the people watching the video really need this message....
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
Ha. No.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
The world does not seem very cool in this video, and the things that happen were portrayed so outrageously (look at the way the continents move!) that it's laughable.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
It has these. No point.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
The music video makes me think about never watching it again. No point.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
Can you tell I don't? If not, then let me state it: I don't.
This video gets a 1/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield (UK version)
You're Christmas gift from Music Video Per Diem: an excellent music video! This was one of the first music videos I ever saw, and it tricked me into thinking they all were this good. The only downside is the dancing that she does. A little red book at the bottom of a bookshelf has an oval on the cover that shows someone -- probably the singer -- moving around and singing. The book starts climbing the bookshelf and the higher it gets, the bigger the other books get. A little less than halfway through the video, we see that the book is aiming for a dove it sees on the roof of the library. The books start to get enormous until they turn into glaciers. In one of these glaciers, the little red book takes shelter in a small nook to get away from the rainstorm that has started. It burns its own pages for fuel in a sad and heartwarming moment. The next day, it sets out again and climbs the highest of the glaciers. It barely pulls itself high enough to see the bird when a gust of wind throws it off the glacier and rips it apart. A woman catches one of the pages. There's brilliance in this music video.
Bask in its glory here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFFBSSntZgs
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
The little dancing it has looks pretty bad to me. No point.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
The girl on the cover of the book dances often.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
The bird, though not strictly at the beginning, is only really shown twice, and the instances are far apart.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
Hardcore plotline all the way.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Finally, after slogging through the metaphorical sewers, there's one with a plotline.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
Definite point.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
Neither, unfortunately. Books are cool, but they don't look cool, and this is an aesthetic point.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
Every time it shows the cover in detail, it is a diversion.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
Actually, not really. Most of the ones I like and the ones with plotlines have this. This one, not so much.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
Heck yes.
This video gets a 5/10. But not really. I'm going to go against my ranking system and give it an 8/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Bask in its glory here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFFBSSntZgs
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
The little dancing it has looks pretty bad to me. No point.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
The girl on the cover of the book dances often.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
The bird, though not strictly at the beginning, is only really shown twice, and the instances are far apart.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
Hardcore plotline all the way.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Finally, after slogging through the metaphorical sewers, there's one with a plotline.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
Definite point.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
Neither, unfortunately. Books are cool, but they don't look cool, and this is an aesthetic point.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
Every time it shows the cover in detail, it is a diversion.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
Actually, not really. Most of the ones I like and the ones with plotlines have this. This one, not so much.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
Heck yes.
This video gets a 5/10. But not really. I'm going to go against my ranking system and give it an 8/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield (US version)
So, I've seen both versions. Apparently, citizens of the United States like me are expected to like crap videos more than music videos with an actual plot. The United Kingdom version is one of my favorite music videos, and you will be seeing my review of it tomorrow. The protagonist (presumably Natasha Bedingfield) gets into an elevator. The elevator leads to completely random places, and completely random people get on and off. That's it. Nothing more happens.
Destroy your eyes with it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7k0a5hYnSI&ob=av2n
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
It really didn't have dancing, so I will give it both dancing points.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
Point.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
Not unless that last person she met was one of the earlier people on the elevator. There wasn't enough light on his face to see. Considering the random nature of the rest of the video, this is unlikely, so no point.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
Theme: Hello, I am on an elevator.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Point.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
And no.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
Neither. The back of an elevator with the protagonist in it isn't cool. The places it went and the way the people acted wasn't realistic.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
Every so often, it will show just her head singing.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
No.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
Absolutely not.
This video gets a 4/10. If she had just danced, the score would be more fitting.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Destroy your eyes with it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7k0a5hYnSI&ob=av2n
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
It really didn't have dancing, so I will give it both dancing points.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
Point.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
Not unless that last person she met was one of the earlier people on the elevator. There wasn't enough light on his face to see. Considering the random nature of the rest of the video, this is unlikely, so no point.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
Theme: Hello, I am on an elevator.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Point.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
And no.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
Neither. The back of an elevator with the protagonist in it isn't cool. The places it went and the way the people acted wasn't realistic.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
Every so often, it will show just her head singing.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
No.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
Absolutely not.
This video gets a 4/10. If she had just danced, the score would be more fitting.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Move Along by All American Rejects
Ah, now here's an interesting premise. The protagonist just stands there, against different backdrops, his clothes changing every few seconds. It sounds boring, but it's actually a good video. There's really nothing more than that. What interested me was that his mouth forms the words of the song very fluidly even though where he is and what he's wearing change. There's hardly any jerkiness in his facial expression, even when the scene is changing several times a second.
You can watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XleOkGsYgO8&ob=av3e
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
I would not count "standing there" as dancing. Point.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
Point.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
Every scene is repeated numerous times throughout the video, so no.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
I had a tough time deciding, but I would classify this video under "theme" instead of "series of related images" because the images are just too similar.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
The theme is him moving through the good and the bad in life, along with him being in the same spot in nearly every picture.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
Here's where I draw the line. It has nothing of the sort.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
Neither, I'm afraid. It's cool, but not overly so.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
The whole "empty pool full of fans" thing is a huge diversion.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
Yes. You should eventually see a pattern and start to get what I mean when I had out this point, as I don't think I did a good job of describing it.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
You know what? I do. It's certainly better than the last few stinkers, and I just plain enjoyed it.
This video gets a 6/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
You can watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XleOkGsYgO8&ob=av3e
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
I would not count "standing there" as dancing. Point.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
Point.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
Every scene is repeated numerous times throughout the video, so no.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
I had a tough time deciding, but I would classify this video under "theme" instead of "series of related images" because the images are just too similar.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
The theme is him moving through the good and the bad in life, along with him being in the same spot in nearly every picture.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
Here's where I draw the line. It has nothing of the sort.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
Neither, I'm afraid. It's cool, but not overly so.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
The whole "empty pool full of fans" thing is a huge diversion.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
Yes. You should eventually see a pattern and start to get what I mean when I had out this point, as I don't think I did a good job of describing it.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
You know what? I do. It's certainly better than the last few stinkers, and I just plain enjoyed it.
This video gets a 6/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
The Reason by Hoobastank
Boy, I can really pick 'em. There was a theme here. The same girl got hit by a car countless times. Other people got hit by cars, as well, if I'm interpreting it right. There was also a van that slowed down and looked suspiciously as if it was hitting somebody. The girl who got hit the most times also got shown lying on the ground on countless occasions. Also, the protagonist was robbing some kind of store that kept priceless jewels in the back but didn't look like a bank. There was no semblance of a story thrown onto this video whatsoever.
You can subject yourself to it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fV4DiAyExN0&ob=av2n
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
There is a point here. There was no dancing.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
Point.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
No. All things were present throughout the video.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
I will give a half a point here, since though a lot of the images have no relation at all, this appears to be because there are two separate things going on.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Not even close.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
Nope.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
Besides the cars that get fifty bonus points if they hit someone, this is very real-looking. Point.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
Oh, does it ever. No point here.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
No.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
Absolutely not.
This video gets a 3.5/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
You can subject yourself to it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fV4DiAyExN0&ob=av2n
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
There is a point here. There was no dancing.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
Point.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
No. All things were present throughout the video.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
I will give a half a point here, since though a lot of the images have no relation at all, this appears to be because there are two separate things going on.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Not even close.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
Nope.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
Besides the cars that get fifty bonus points if they hit someone, this is very real-looking. Point.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
Oh, does it ever. No point here.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
No.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
Absolutely not.
This video gets a 3.5/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Monday, December 19, 2011
The reasoning behind my judgement
Somebody has asked me why I have the ten points the way I do. For example, why would I give a point to a video for not having dancing? Why would I have three that say almost the exact same thing, only getting more specific every time? Here, I will attempt to provide an answer.
The Dancing points:
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
I do not like dancing. It can interrupt a good plot. There's never any purpose within the plot, or even the theme, for people to randomly start dancing. This is just my opinion. That being said, there's good dancing and there's getting hit with waves of cheesiness and creepy sexuality. So the idea here is that if the video has no dancing, then it will get two points, and if it has good dancing, it will get one.
The Ending point:
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
I just really like it when this happens. It ties things up and makes it interesting.
The Plotline points:
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
Most music video have no plot. This is a bad thing. When a music video has a plot, it makes it several orders of magnitude better. Next down is a theme, which is still better than a bunch of related images, which is still better than a video of, say, the band performing. I love music videos with plotlines. So much so that if a music video has one, it will get a whopping three points. If it has a theme, it will get two points, and the images give it a single point.
The Aesthetic point:
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
Sometimes a music video has a setting that's just cool. Look at 3 a. m. by Eminem and tell me that the hospital with blood on the walls isn't cool. The way the person or people move can be cool, too. I'm not talking about dancing, just the way somebody gets from point A to point B. Sometimes an element comes into play that just makes the whole video cool. On the flip side, reality is rarely cool. However, I love music videos that go for realism. My favorite music video ever is Savin Me by Nickelback. It has no coolness, but the way it depicts his new found "power" and the outlying city looks very real. Either one will give a video this point.
The Distraction point:
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
You're watching a music video and it has an awesome plotline in a thoroughly cool setting, with no dancing, but there's just one problem: every ten seconds or so, it shows a few seconds of the band sitting around playing instruments. Why? No idea. The music video would be a lot better without it.
The Interesting point:
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
I don't mean that it opens up a new philosophical debate or brings to the forefront an issue about our society here. What I mean is that it has a refreshing new premise, or at least new for a music video, and makes you think about that premise or the music video itself. This one's a bit hard to describe.
The Subjective point:
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
I think this one's pretty self-explanatory.
I was also asked why I don't review the songs. Simply put, all of the songs, without exception, are crap. If I can think of a single nice thing to say about the song, usually about the lyrics, I put it. But I like the sixties and the seventies, and anything that comes after them sounds really horrible to me. If the song quality became part of my criterion, there would most likely never be a score above five.
The Dancing points:
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
I do not like dancing. It can interrupt a good plot. There's never any purpose within the plot, or even the theme, for people to randomly start dancing. This is just my opinion. That being said, there's good dancing and there's getting hit with waves of cheesiness and creepy sexuality. So the idea here is that if the video has no dancing, then it will get two points, and if it has good dancing, it will get one.
The Ending point:
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
I just really like it when this happens. It ties things up and makes it interesting.
The Plotline points:
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
Most music video have no plot. This is a bad thing. When a music video has a plot, it makes it several orders of magnitude better. Next down is a theme, which is still better than a bunch of related images, which is still better than a video of, say, the band performing. I love music videos with plotlines. So much so that if a music video has one, it will get a whopping three points. If it has a theme, it will get two points, and the images give it a single point.
The Aesthetic point:
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
Sometimes a music video has a setting that's just cool. Look at 3 a. m. by Eminem and tell me that the hospital with blood on the walls isn't cool. The way the person or people move can be cool, too. I'm not talking about dancing, just the way somebody gets from point A to point B. Sometimes an element comes into play that just makes the whole video cool. On the flip side, reality is rarely cool. However, I love music videos that go for realism. My favorite music video ever is Savin Me by Nickelback. It has no coolness, but the way it depicts his new found "power" and the outlying city looks very real. Either one will give a video this point.
The Distraction point:
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
You're watching a music video and it has an awesome plotline in a thoroughly cool setting, with no dancing, but there's just one problem: every ten seconds or so, it shows a few seconds of the band sitting around playing instruments. Why? No idea. The music video would be a lot better without it.
The Interesting point:
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
I don't mean that it opens up a new philosophical debate or brings to the forefront an issue about our society here. What I mean is that it has a refreshing new premise, or at least new for a music video, and makes you think about that premise or the music video itself. This one's a bit hard to describe.
The Subjective point:
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
I think this one's pretty self-explanatory.
I was also asked why I don't review the songs. Simply put, all of the songs, without exception, are crap. If I can think of a single nice thing to say about the song, usually about the lyrics, I put it. But I like the sixties and the seventies, and anything that comes after them sounds really horrible to me. If the song quality became part of my criterion, there would most likely never be a score above five.
Friday, December 16, 2011
It Will Rain by Bruno Mars
And I thought the last one was bad. Silly me. The last one actually had the two people on screen for the majority of the video. In this one, the main guy (presumably Bruno) really, really, REALLY likes a certain pose. So much so that he sings into a microphone in the same pose for the majority of the video. The rest is of him and a woman hugging and possibly doing a bit more. It would have been more interesting if he had showed his cat chasing a laser for four minutes and twenty-seven seconds.
Are you an insomniac? Put yourself to sleep here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-w3WfgpcGg&ob=av2e
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
He dances a bit. It is very plain and hard to distinguish as dancing, and so is either really bad dancing or no dancing. I'll be generous and give it a half a point.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
The same half point is still applying here.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
Not in the least.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
It's basically a still photograph that sings. The images of him and the girl are also quite unrelated. No point.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Not even close.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
Here's the plotline. You're sitting in front of your computer when you see an incredibly awesome blog. It mentions a certain music video, and you click the link before reading it. Unfortunately, it really can't hold your interest. You go off, get a sandwich, and come back. The music video is ending. "Thank goodness," you say, and go read the review. You then show the blog to all of your friends.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
No.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
Would "sometimes he moves" count as a diversion? I think so.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
It gave my mind plenty of time to wander, but that's not really the meaning of this point.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
No.
This video gets a 0.5/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Are you an insomniac? Put yourself to sleep here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-w3WfgpcGg&ob=av2e
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
He dances a bit. It is very plain and hard to distinguish as dancing, and so is either really bad dancing or no dancing. I'll be generous and give it a half a point.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
The same half point is still applying here.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
Not in the least.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
It's basically a still photograph that sings. The images of him and the girl are also quite unrelated. No point.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Not even close.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
Here's the plotline. You're sitting in front of your computer when you see an incredibly awesome blog. It mentions a certain music video, and you click the link before reading it. Unfortunately, it really can't hold your interest. You go off, get a sandwich, and come back. The music video is ending. "Thank goodness," you say, and go read the review. You then show the blog to all of your friends.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
No.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
Would "sometimes he moves" count as a diversion? I think so.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
It gave my mind plenty of time to wander, but that's not really the meaning of this point.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
No.
This video gets a 0.5/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
We Fell in Love by Rihanna
In an effort to keep "hip", I looked up what the current number one song is. Shame on you, other people my age, for having such atrocious taste in music -- and music videos. There is no plot. There is no theme. The images are related in that the whole music video appears to be about two creepy crooks being disgustingly gooey with each other as well as being eerily possessive. They also engage in every minor crime or vice known to man, and both show far too much skin. At one point in the video, the woman does something symbolic. She barfs. It is indicative of the total quality of the music video.
Blackmail your enemies with the threat of watching it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tg00YEETFzg&ob=av2e
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
They are too busy being creepy and sexual with each other to dance. Point.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
Point.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
Nothing, as far as I could see, came into play only at the far extremes of the video.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
The images were related, though not quite enough to be a theme.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Nope. "Here's how much I love this person as I take drugs and shoplift" does not count as a theme.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
There's an epic fail here.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
No point, because dear God I hope reality isn't like that...
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
Ha.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
I was trying to turn my brain off to cancel out the extreme revulsion it produced in me.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
I do not.
This video gets a 3/10. Barely.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Blackmail your enemies with the threat of watching it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tg00YEETFzg&ob=av2e
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
They are too busy being creepy and sexual with each other to dance. Point.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
Point.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
Nothing, as far as I could see, came into play only at the far extremes of the video.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
The images were related, though not quite enough to be a theme.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Nope. "Here's how much I love this person as I take drugs and shoplift" does not count as a theme.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
There's an epic fail here.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
No point, because dear God I hope reality isn't like that...
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
Ha.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
I was trying to turn my brain off to cancel out the extreme revulsion it produced in me.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
I do not.
This video gets a 3/10. Barely.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Money for Nothing by Dire Straits
I'll balance out all of these modern songs by reviewing the music video to a song I like. It begins with a digitally animated guy sitting on a chair with his dog, watching TV. On the TV is a band playing, presumably Dire Straits. A second digitally animated guy is introduced, and they move around a digitally animated store, where there are music videos playing on all of the TVs. The first guy, at various points in the video, gets frozen solid and gets his head cooked in the microwave. Also, the room with the dog is featured throughout the video.
Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAD6Obi7Cag
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
I'll count it as no dancing, as I saw about two seconds of dancing in the entire video, all while the band was on the TV.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
Point.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
There is nothing that comes in at the beginning and isn't featured again until the end.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
There is a theme. The theme is "digital animation", and also "watching music videos".
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Point.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
There was no plotline.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
Neither. It had a bit of coolness when they showed the band and they all had glowing clothes, but otherwise, it was quite dumb-looking, and not at all realistic. If that was as good as digital animation got back then, then they shouldn't have used digital animation.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
The glowing-clothes band was a diversion to the overall theme.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
Nothing to think about here.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
I feel kind of "meh" towards it.
This video gets a 4/10.
I am HIGHLY open for suggestions for music videos to review.
Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAD6Obi7Cag
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
I'll count it as no dancing, as I saw about two seconds of dancing in the entire video, all while the band was on the TV.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
Point.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
There is nothing that comes in at the beginning and isn't featured again until the end.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
There is a theme. The theme is "digital animation", and also "watching music videos".
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Point.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
There was no plotline.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
Neither. It had a bit of coolness when they showed the band and they all had glowing clothes, but otherwise, it was quite dumb-looking, and not at all realistic. If that was as good as digital animation got back then, then they shouldn't have used digital animation.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
The glowing-clothes band was a diversion to the overall theme.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
Nothing to think about here.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
I feel kind of "meh" towards it.
This video gets a 4/10.
I am HIGHLY open for suggestions for music videos to review.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Oh Boy (I Need You) by Mariah Carey
Crap to the extreme. It was rife with random images, but none were related. If you're wondering what it's like or looking for a summary, it is impossible to describe -- in a bad way. There is a giant orange godzilla-looking thing. The main character in in the middle of an office at one point with a tiny girl with fairy wings in her hand, which has clouds on it as well. Let me repeat that sentence. The main character in in the middle of an office at one point with a tiny girl with fairy wings in her hand, which has clouds on it as well. In the beginning, a animated robot or cartoon or something does the laces on her shoe and puts a bracelet on her. Cars explode at one point. Both singers (there is a rapper named Cam'Ron in here as well) like to stand in front of a background with their names on it.
Force your childhood bully to watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExC7J-WrScY
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
It did not appear to have any real dancing. I almost think it would have been better if it did. Unfortunately, it gets a point.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
Point.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
Maybe, but I don't think so. The unending stream of crap does not stop at any point, so it cannot be said to take a pause in the middle.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
To find out how relate these images are, go to the nearest biology lab. Find a sample of a bacterium. You and that bacterium are far closer cousins than any of the scenes depicted in this video.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
The only thing that remains the same is the person, and even that is up for debate, due to the second person being introduced.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
No point. In fact, for being so horrible on this account, I will give it negative two points, to balance out the earlier lack of dancing. I can do that.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
Extreme lunacy is the only thing to be found in this music video.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
No.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
It makes me think that the music video for Bad Romance can be considered good compared to this.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
... and no.
This video gets a 0/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Force your childhood bully to watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExC7J-WrScY
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
It did not appear to have any real dancing. I almost think it would have been better if it did. Unfortunately, it gets a point.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
Point.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
Maybe, but I don't think so. The unending stream of crap does not stop at any point, so it cannot be said to take a pause in the middle.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
To find out how relate these images are, go to the nearest biology lab. Find a sample of a bacterium. You and that bacterium are far closer cousins than any of the scenes depicted in this video.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
The only thing that remains the same is the person, and even that is up for debate, due to the second person being introduced.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
No point. In fact, for being so horrible on this account, I will give it negative two points, to balance out the earlier lack of dancing. I can do that.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
Extreme lunacy is the only thing to be found in this music video.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
No.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
It makes me think that the music video for Bad Romance can be considered good compared to this.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
... and no.
This video gets a 0/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5
Moves Like Jagger is a terrible music video. I generally love it when there is something in the video before the music starts, but in this one it seemed random and dull. Everybody in the entire video danced with both cheese and creepy sexuality except for the old video clips of Mick Jagger. Plot? What? That they were all auditioning to... be Mick Jagger? Be in the music video? Show whoever is watching just how repulsively naked they could be without it being a porn video? That is not a plot.
If aliens came down and this was the only music video they saw, they'd think humanity had the average IQ of twenty.
You can torture prisoners by forcing them to watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEPTlhBmwRg&ob=av3e
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
The entire video was 90% very bad dancing. If you want to watch it, expect as well lots of people wearing shirts and underwear. They aren't trying to be artistic, or even sexy. They dance quite horrible in a cheesy way. I've never seen Mick Jagger in concert, so I don't know if they're just repeating what he did, but I'd like to think that Mick Jagger didn't dance like that. No point.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
The only parts that aren't dancing are the parts where either the camera on a random inanimate object. Of course, if you count the beginning and end, there are also the parts where a part of a Jagger interview that is about as relevant as if it was chosen out of a hat filled with parts of Jagger interviews is played.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
Aaaaaaw, the video got its first point! The incongruous interview is featured at the beginning and the end.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
No. The plot-less, theme-less image itself was almost continuous.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
No. I wouldn't even say it's Mick Jagger themed, because most of it isn't.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
Absolutely not.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
No. I almost drowned in the waves of cheesiness radiating from it.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
The first premise is not satisfied. No point.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
Goodness gracious no.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
Need I even answer this one?
This video gets a 1/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
If aliens came down and this was the only music video they saw, they'd think humanity had the average IQ of twenty.
You can torture prisoners by forcing them to watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEPTlhBmwRg&ob=av3e
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
The entire video was 90% very bad dancing. If you want to watch it, expect as well lots of people wearing shirts and underwear. They aren't trying to be artistic, or even sexy. They dance quite horrible in a cheesy way. I've never seen Mick Jagger in concert, so I don't know if they're just repeating what he did, but I'd like to think that Mick Jagger didn't dance like that. No point.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
The only parts that aren't dancing are the parts where either the camera on a random inanimate object. Of course, if you count the beginning and end, there are also the parts where a part of a Jagger interview that is about as relevant as if it was chosen out of a hat filled with parts of Jagger interviews is played.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
Aaaaaaw, the video got its first point! The incongruous interview is featured at the beginning and the end.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
No. The plot-less, theme-less image itself was almost continuous.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
No. I wouldn't even say it's Mick Jagger themed, because most of it isn't.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
Absolutely not.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
No. I almost drowned in the waves of cheesiness radiating from it.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
The first premise is not satisfied. No point.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
Goodness gracious no.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
Need I even answer this one?
This video gets a 1/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Bad Romance by Lady Gaga
Now that I've reviewed a couple of decent ones, I can review an atrocious one. The entire video was one huge dance-fest. There wasn't even a theme. It was dreadful. It went from these people getting out of white coffin/tanning booth looking things to Lady Gaga being fed wine in a bathtub to who knows what. The funny thing is that when I looked it up, it appeared that the video got highly positive reviews. How is this possible? It had no plot!
You can find it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrO4YZeyl0I&ob=av2e
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
Well, I can't say the constant dancing was bad dancing, so I guess it gets this point.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
Discuss: if the dancing was taken out, would there be a music video?
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
Nope. Unless you count the ever-present group of background dancers.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
The images were somewhat related, especially with the bed on fire turns into bed with corpse thing. Everything was pretty white-colored, too, so that might count for a point.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Don't make me laugh.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
This video makes the videos with plotlines cry.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
Neither. Not in the least. The few parts that weren't absolutely disgusting were completely unfathomable.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
hahaNO.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
Only if I think about how crappy it was.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
Can you guess the answer to this one?
This video gets a 2/10.
I am HIGHLY open for suggestions for music videos to review.
You can find it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrO4YZeyl0I&ob=av2e
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
Well, I can't say the constant dancing was bad dancing, so I guess it gets this point.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
Discuss: if the dancing was taken out, would there be a music video?
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
Nope. Unless you count the ever-present group of background dancers.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
The images were somewhat related, especially with the bed on fire turns into bed with corpse thing. Everything was pretty white-colored, too, so that might count for a point.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Don't make me laugh.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
This video makes the videos with plotlines cry.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
Neither. Not in the least. The few parts that weren't absolutely disgusting were completely unfathomable.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
hahaNO.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
Only if I think about how crappy it was.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
Can you guess the answer to this one?
This video gets a 2/10.
I am HIGHLY open for suggestions for music videos to review.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
3 a. m. by Eminem
This music video was definitely sending "cool" vibes my way. However, it was encumbered by the sheer amount of random dancing. I don't like to review the songs, but I just want to say one thing: though I obviously didn't like the tune, as it was modern music, the lyrics were EPIC. Anyways, it goes like this. The video cuts between a huge number of separate stories, pictures, and vague notions. In one, the main character finds himself out in the woods. He sees that he has a bandage around his arm and when he unwraps it, there is a hospital tag/bracelet thing and a cut. In another, which, due to the way he holds a knife right where the cut is in the first, I believe is meant to happen earlier, the same guy is walking in a hospital and he takes some pills, kills a nurse, and is later shown with several bodies around him. A third shows the guy in a bathtub full of blood. In a fourth, he is watching TV and goes downstairs. The rest are short snippets that aren't repeated throughout the show, and generally have a lot of blood in it and depict the protagonist as a murderer. With all of that to draw on, he still managed to make the music video worse by adding dancing to it.
You can watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAuo8IOFNuE
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
I'm no expert on dance, so by "very good," I mean that it doesn't drown me in a wave of cheesy or look creepily sexual. His dancing did neither of those things so I give this point.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
A good half of the video was taken up by the various versions of him dancing.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
Yes. At the end, nearly every version of the protagonist raises his hand to the sky, referencing even the versions at the beginning.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
Um. Er. It kind of has all three. Some of the versions have a clear plotline, some have a theme, and there are an awful lot of images, too. This point works.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Yes, it has both. Point.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
Here is the best part of the video. It gets a point from me.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
3 a. m. is cool. From the way the blood forms on the walls to the way the camera angle works, it is definitely cool.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
Oh, man. Should this give it a negative point, for the plotlines being only some of many things? No, I won't do that, but it definitely does not get this point.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
No points here. There's nothing really wow going on. The guy's just portraying a psycho serial killer.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
I don't. I wouldn't rave about it to my friends. It's a nice video, but it has too much negative stuff going for it for me to give it this point.
This video gets a 6/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
You can watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAuo8IOFNuE
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
I'm no expert on dance, so by "very good," I mean that it doesn't drown me in a wave of cheesy or look creepily sexual. His dancing did neither of those things so I give this point.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
A good half of the video was taken up by the various versions of him dancing.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
Yes. At the end, nearly every version of the protagonist raises his hand to the sky, referencing even the versions at the beginning.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
Um. Er. It kind of has all three. Some of the versions have a clear plotline, some have a theme, and there are an awful lot of images, too. This point works.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
Yes, it has both. Point.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
Here is the best part of the video. It gets a point from me.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
3 a. m. is cool. From the way the blood forms on the walls to the way the camera angle works, it is definitely cool.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
Oh, man. Should this give it a negative point, for the plotlines being only some of many things? No, I won't do that, but it definitely does not get this point.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
No points here. There's nothing really wow going on. The guy's just portraying a psycho serial killer.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
I don't. I wouldn't rave about it to my friends. It's a nice video, but it has too much negative stuff going for it for me to give it this point.
This video gets a 6/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Introduction to the blog and Savin' Me by Nickelback
Hello, rest of the world. I realized that I quite liked doing a review-a-day for my other blog, book du jour, which can be found here: www.bookdujour.blogspot.com
Unlike books, I have only a little bit of experience with music videos. This is because the songs I listen to generally don't have music videos: I pretty much only listen to the sixties and seventies, and music videos start off pretty much in the eighties. However, whenever I'm on a website and a music video is mentioned, I will always watch it, and I have written a couple of songs and have a clear idea of what I want the music videos to look like. From the few I've watched, I've developed a standard for music videos, which I will give points based on. Because, as I said earlier, I do not listen to music from 1980 to the present year (currently 2011, but who knows, music might actually become good next year, so I won't say just 1980 and afterwards.), and, in fact, I do not like said music, the videos I review will be reviewed purely on the video and not on the song. Unlike my other blog, I will allow music videos I have watched in the past and, hopefully, keep a large backlog.
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
1 point if the music video does something creative.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
Those are my criteria.
Now that that's over with, let's kick this blog off with a music video I very much enjoyed, Savin' Me by Nickelback (do you put the name of a music video in italics?)
To start off, I loved the plot. It was new and fresh, with everything thought of and lots of wonderful images: the pregnant woman and the old lady, for example. The plot went as follows: a man is walking down the sidewalk and is about to cross when somebody stops him and pulls him back just as a large vehicle blasts past. The man looks around at everything and starts pulling people aside to swat at the area on top of their heads. It is soon revealed that he sees glowing numbers above each person's head showing how long they have to live. A pregnant woman has a number over her womb area as well, and an old lady being rushed to the hospital has her time run out right before his eyes. He looks at his reflection in a store window but cannot see his own number. He sees a woman whose number is going down about to enter her car sharply and pulls her aside just as something big and heavy (what was that thing?) falls on her car. He walks among the crowd normally and the woman can now see numbers above people's heads. The entire thing is, unfortunately, interspersed with shots of a group of people, presumably the band, standing around in a room with no particular purpose.
You can watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JQiEs32SqQ&ob=av2n
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
No dancing here! Thank goodness. It really takes away from a good music video.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
Check.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
Absolutely. In the beginning, somebody saves the protagonist's life and he can see the numbers. When he saves the woman's life at the end, she can see the numbers. It isn't quite as poignant as it could be, but it still gets the point.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
Yay! A plotline! And a very good one, at that. The plot here blows the socks off of some other plotlines I've seen.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
There is a big difference between a theme in a plotline, but it's a bit hard to explain. The best way to put it is that most plotlines have multiple characters, whereas most themes have zero characters. A theme would be "Wild West Themed." A plotline would be "A cowboy has a showdown at the bar with his nemesis over his true love." Anyways, as said earlier, this song has a plotline.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
Check.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
Extreme realism here. The way he looks at people strangely and gets his bearings for a few seconds is one example. Another is that the powers seem to be internally consistent.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
Sorry, but this point is lost. It cuts to random scenes of what is possibly the band, singing in a room. It detracts from the story.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
The whole premise is creative. Similar things have been done, but not in a music video, as far as I know, and not like this.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
Definitely. I love this video.
This video gets a 9/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
Unlike books, I have only a little bit of experience with music videos. This is because the songs I listen to generally don't have music videos: I pretty much only listen to the sixties and seventies, and music videos start off pretty much in the eighties. However, whenever I'm on a website and a music video is mentioned, I will always watch it, and I have written a couple of songs and have a clear idea of what I want the music videos to look like. From the few I've watched, I've developed a standard for music videos, which I will give points based on. Because, as I said earlier, I do not listen to music from 1980 to the present year (currently 2011, but who knows, music might actually become good next year, so I won't say just 1980 and afterwards.), and, in fact, I do not like said music, the videos I review will be reviewed purely on the video and not on the song. Unlike my other blog, I will allow music videos I have watched in the past and, hopefully, keep a large backlog.
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
1 point if the music video does something creative.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
Those are my criteria.
Now that that's over with, let's kick this blog off with a music video I very much enjoyed, Savin' Me by Nickelback (do you put the name of a music video in italics?)
To start off, I loved the plot. It was new and fresh, with everything thought of and lots of wonderful images: the pregnant woman and the old lady, for example. The plot went as follows: a man is walking down the sidewalk and is about to cross when somebody stops him and pulls him back just as a large vehicle blasts past. The man looks around at everything and starts pulling people aside to swat at the area on top of their heads. It is soon revealed that he sees glowing numbers above each person's head showing how long they have to live. A pregnant woman has a number over her womb area as well, and an old lady being rushed to the hospital has her time run out right before his eyes. He looks at his reflection in a store window but cannot see his own number. He sees a woman whose number is going down about to enter her car sharply and pulls her aside just as something big and heavy (what was that thing?) falls on her car. He walks among the crowd normally and the woman can now see numbers above people's heads. The entire thing is, unfortunately, interspersed with shots of a group of people, presumably the band, standing around in a room with no particular purpose.
You can watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JQiEs32SqQ&ob=av2n
1 point if the music video in question has very good dancing or no dancing.
No dancing here! Thank goodness. It really takes away from a good music video.
1 point if the music video has no dancing.
Check.
1 point if the music video has something from the beginning come into play at the end.
Absolutely. In the beginning, somebody saves the protagonist's life and he can see the numbers. When he saves the woman's life at the end, she can see the numbers. It isn't quite as poignant as it could be, but it still gets the point.
1 point if the music video has a series of related images, a theme, or a plotline.
Yay! A plotline! And a very good one, at that. The plot here blows the socks off of some other plotlines I've seen.
1 point if the music video has a theme or a plotline.
There is a big difference between a theme in a plotline, but it's a bit hard to explain. The best way to put it is that most plotlines have multiple characters, whereas most themes have zero characters. A theme would be "Wild West Themed." A plotline would be "A cowboy has a showdown at the bar with his nemesis over his true love." Anyways, as said earlier, this song has a plotline.
1 point if the music video has a plotline.
Check.
1 point if the music video is either depicts extreme coolness or extreme realism.
Extreme realism here. The way he looks at people strangely and gets his bearings for a few seconds is one example. Another is that the powers seem to be internally consistent.
1 point if the music video, if it has a plotline or theme, has no diversions from it.
Sorry, but this point is lost. It cuts to random scenes of what is possibly the band, singing in a room. It detracts from the story.
1 point if the music video does something that makes you think.
The whole premise is creative. Similar things have been done, but not in a music video, as far as I know, and not like this.
1 point to spare in case I really like it.
Definitely. I love this video.
This video gets a 9/10.
I am HIGHLY up for suggestions for music videos to review.
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